Mousing

folks seemed to find this email amusing so it's posted here for entertainment purposes: ================================================================== just want u all to know that i, "little ms. mouse rights activist", does not have a mouse in the house. i have MICE in the house!! probably an entire clan of those furry little FKRS who are determined to keep me awake at night & instill a fear of rodents in me - me, the girl who thinks / thought my little, single, solitary mouse was CUTE. for those who don't know, yesterday i was able to locate "no-kill" mouse traps for a mere $3.90 for a package of 2 (as the ultrasonic, electronic device is a total sham). I thought it was fascinating that there were 2 traps in the pack as the traps are reusable & i would only need one (missed clue). the traps are the niftiest little invention - so simple & they WORK!! it's a plastic box that leans forward on one ridge; u place food at the back of the box and when the mouse goes "up the ramp" to get the food, the box rocks backward causing the door to fall down & lock in place. BRILLIANT !! so, last night - or rather, this morning - at THREE AM, the mouse came. i was awaken by the noise & heard the plastic trap rattling around as i lay in bed trying to figure out whether the mouse was in the trap or had banged against it causing the door to close (the traps are VERY sensitive). i was also debating whether i would get out of bed & take him outside to release him @ 3AM or if he could survive in there 'till a more respectable hour. as i lay there, the noise stopped & i figured he got away (or was conserving oxygen). moments later, i hear a noise ON MY NIGHT STAND & lo & behold, that little FKR is standing on my nightstand - right near my head!! i FREAK out, jump out of bed, turn on the light & - after gaining control of myself - immediately go over to reset the traps to catch my new foe. as i'm squatting down IN MY PAJAMAS @ THREE TWENTY ONE AM, i pick up the trap to reset it & a mouse JUMPS out of the trap!!! that's right - jumps OUT of the trap that i'm HOLDING up to my face to peer inside to see if there is any bait left. i screamed so loud that i scared myself stupid & fell over. [note to everyone: stand up BEFORE trying to run.] i was so afraid that i would fall ON the mouse that i can't even recall getting back up on my feet; i just remember scrambling and slipping (socks & h/w floors!!) to make little / no contact w/ floor. when i came to my senses & realized i was now at war w/ mice, i decided there would be no more ms. nice girl. the second trap was also closed & i honestly don't know if a 3rd mouse was (IS) in there or what. i now understand why the traps come in packs of 2 - b/c no one ever has a single mouse. images of the crypt keeper & all those scary movies where u see bunches of mice huddled around danced in my head all night. i jumped at every single sound & now understand why the Princess prefers to sleep downstairs. i am very sorry to say that i am going back to the hardware store to return that no good ultrasonic, humane, bullsh*t of a thing & get myself some good ol' fashioned poison. I must also admit that this morning i disposed of the humane trap - unopened - and part of me feels really horrible that the mouse (if there is one in there) is going to starve to death in the trashcan at the park. but the other part of me knows it was for my own mental health as i couldn't bear to look at another furry FKR after another night of interrupted sleep. there....i feel less guilty already.